[epsi-coord] Update Tech report - revs Marc

Sun Dec 25 16:08:46 GMT 2011

Dear all,

Further to Ton's request I have gone through Ton's draft and inserted
revisions (in the rev mode). The document is the drop box under the same
title with added - 'Revs Marc'.

In conformity with Ton's suggestion, am now passing it on to Hans requesting
him to perform a quick last check. Also, it would be good if you could add
some substance to chapter 3: the lessons learned. This will alleviate Ton's
last working hours of this month to wrap things up.

Ton, there are a few points which require your attention. I marked them in
yellow.

I will now proceed to catch the turkey in our garden.

Reg. M.

Van: epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org
[mailto:epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org] Namens Ton Zijlstra
Verzonden: zaterdag 24 december 2011 2:20
Aan: epsi-coord at lists.okfn.org
Onderwerp: [epsi-coord] Update Tech report

Hi all,

In the dropbox you will find a new document
ePSIplatform_TR1_revised_v03_word with the latest version of the tech
report.

It's become rather long (40 pages),

it follows the structure and content of the proposal more closely

it gives much more examples and detail concerning our actual actions

Chapter 1 and 2 are now finished. Chapter 3 (summarizing and list of actions
for next period) is still to be done.

Marc, as agreed this afternoon, can you start with proofreading chapter 1
and especially chapter 2.?

Please do not start revisioning for general tone or style, or suggesting
complete rewrites. We don't have time for that. Actual corrections (spelling
/ facts), and suggestions for replacements for text fragments are very
welcome.

More bluntly put: only correct what is wrong or clearly missing, and what
should not be send out this way. No further embellishments.

After Marc has gone through it please pass it along to e.g. Hans.

best,

Ton

-------------------------------------------
Interdependent Thoughts
Ton Zijlstra

ton at tonzijlstra.eu
+31-6-34489360

http://zylstra.org/blog
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