[epsi-coord] Update Tech report - revs Marc

Tue Dec 27 17:58:11 GMT 2011

Hi all,

I’ve reviewed the TR1, mainly to formalize the language a bit further and
to add more substance to the 3rd section, as requested. You’ll find my
updates in the drop box, same folder as before, now adding “revs Marc_Hans”
to the title. I think it’s now mainly a matter of accepting/rejecting
changes, checking layout, and reviewing the sections that are still marked;
then it should be pretty much OK.

BR,

Hans

*Van:* epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org [mailto:
epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org] *Namens *Marc de Vries
*Verzonden:* zondag 25 december 2011 17:09
*Aan:* epsi-coord at lists.okfn.org
*Onderwerp:* [epsi-coord] Update Tech report - revs Marc

Dear all,

Further to Ton’s request I have gone through Ton’s draft and inserted
revisions (in the rev mode). The document is the drop box under the same
title with added - ‘Revs Marc’.

In conformity with Ton’s suggestion, am now passing it on to Hans
requesting him to perform a quick last check. Also, it would be good if you
could add some substance to chapter 3: the lessons learned. This will
alleviate Ton’s last working hours of this month to wrap things up.

Ton, there are a few points which require your attention. I marked them in
yellow.

I will now proceed to catch the turkey in our garden.

Reg. M.

*Van:* epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org [mailto:
epsi-coord-bounces at lists.okfn.org] *Namens *Ton Zijlstra
*Verzonden:* zaterdag 24 december 2011 2:20
*Aan:* epsi-coord at lists.okfn.org
*Onderwerp:* [epsi-coord] Update Tech report

Hi all,

In the dropbox you will find a new
document ePSIplatform_TR1_revised_v03_word with the latest version of the
tech report.

It's become rather long (40 pages),

it follows the structure and content of the proposal more closely

it gives much more examples and detail concerning our actual actions

Chapter 1 and 2 are now finished. Chapter 3 (summarizing and list of
actions for next period) is still to be done.

Marc, as agreed this afternoon, can you start with proofreading chapter 1
and especially chapter 2.?

Please do not start revisioning for general tone or style, or suggesting
complete rewrites. We don't have time for that. Actual corrections
(spelling / facts), and suggestions for replacements for text fragments are
very welcome.

More bluntly put: only correct what is wrong or clearly missing, and what
should not be send out this way. No further embellishments.

After Marc has gone through it please pass it along to e.g. Hans.

best,

Ton

-------------------------------------------
Interdependent Thoughts
Ton Zijlstra

ton at tonzijlstra.eu
+31-6-34489360

http://zylstra.org/blog
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