[okfn-discuss] new brand, new website: coming up next week

[Aaron Wolf]

On Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 10:38 AM, Rufus Pollock <rufus.pollock at okfn.org>wrote:

> A world where knowledge creates power for the many, not the few.
> A world where data frees us — to make informed choices about how we live,
> what we buy and who gets our vote.
> A world where information and insights are accessible — and apparent — to
> everyone.
> This is the world we choose.
>

I like the first line.

The second I think the idea of data freeing us is odd, it personifies data
in a way that is too abstract. "This data freed me?" I think better is
"serve" as in "data *serves* the public by enabling informed choices…"

The third line the "— and apparent —" bit is pedantic and unnecessary.
Remove it and it loses nothing and is less wordy.

--
Aaron Wolf
wolftune.com
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