[okfn-discuss] new brand, new website: coming up next week

Aaron Wolf wolftune at gmail.com
Thu Apr 17 18:27:32 UTC 2014

On Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 10:38 AM, Rufus Pollock <rufus.pollock at okfn.org>wrote:

> A world where knowledge creates power for the many, not the few.
> A world where data frees us — to make informed choices about how we live,
> what we buy and who gets our vote.
> A world where information and insights are accessible — and apparent — to
> everyone.
> This is the world we choose.

I like the first line.

The second I think the idea of data freeing us is odd, it personifies data
in a way that is too abstract. "This data freed me?" I think better is
"serve" as in "data *serves* the public by enabling informed choices…"

The third line the "— and apparent —" bit is pedantic and unnecessary.
Remove it and it loses nothing and is less wordy.

Aaron Wolf
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